Rediscovering Your True Self: A Journey of Unlearning and Remembering
Rediscovering yourself isn’t about finding something lost, like a ten-dollar bill in last winter's coat. Instead, it involves realizing that you were never lost to begin with. According to Emily McDowell, your true self lies beneath layers of cultural conditioning, others' opinions, and inaccurate conclusions drawn in childhood, which shape your current beliefs about who you are. This process isn’t so much about finding yourself but about returning to yourself—a journey of unlearning, excavating, and remembering who you were before the world influenced you.
The journey to your true self begins with rejecting the notion that you are lost. Everything you need is already within you; no relationship, amount of money, or possession is necessary to become who you are. By embracing this simple truth—that all your answers lie within—you release others from the responsibility of your happiness. Your contentment and fulfillment rest solely with you, not with your partner, friends, or family.
McDowell emphasizes that uncovering negative self-talk, unlearning limiting beliefs, and remembering your true essence are crucial steps to reconnecting with yourself. To start, examine your beliefs about your relationships, yourself, your finances, and your health. Note how these beliefs make you feel. Feelings of discomfort indicate a drift from your true self, while positive emotions suggest alignment with it.
To challenge and reshape these beliefs, ask yourself:
If I could erase any negative thoughts, what positive beliefs would I replace them with?
How do these new thoughts make me feel?
Replacing negative or limiting beliefs with positive, affirming ones is a sign of moving closer to your true self. Make it a practice to repeat these positive affirmations daily—upon waking, before sleeping, and whenever you catch yourself in a negative thought spiral. It's essential to be patient and gentle with yourself throughout this process, as unlearning years of conditioned beliefs will take time and effort.
Returning to your true self is ultimately about remembering who you were initially, without external influences. This means taking control of your life, steering by your feelings, and continuously replacing self-doubt with self-affirmation. As you embark on this transformative journey, remember to be compassionate with yourself, understanding that each step forward is a part of your path to who you are, no matter how small.